Wrote this a while back

I stopped because I began to hate it, but it looks okay. Feel free to take a look. It’s not done, but what’s here is coherent.

–

During the chilly winter night of February 11, from around 11pm until 2:30am the next day, I made the trek, courtesy of a good old-fashioned pair of legs, from my sister’s home in Ville St Laurent (around Cote-Vertu metro, to be precise) to my humble dwelling on Villeneuve Ouest in the historic Mile-End of Montreal.
It was not my intention to do so originally. Upon leaving my sister’s, I felt the nagging urge to take a long walk, a prolonged shuffling of the feet that relaxes mind and body. I have always loved to walk. I use it as a form of positive catharsis, whereby I think about all the things I feel I must, whereby I explore the depths of my own mind, the logical patterns that I consciously or unconsciously create within myself, what I must do if I am to become what I would consider “successful,” and so on. I think of people influential within my sphere of existence, of the culture around me of which I am a part, of other cultures, of the world as a whole, of the universe. I am thinking this all the while moving my feet at a pleasant pace, slow enough so as to not be particularly physically straining, but fast enough so as to fulfill my youthful need to expend my energies, especially important when one is not expending them elsewhere.
Walking is not the most efficient way to explore the city, but it is certainly the most intimate. When cycling or driving, one is too distracted by the sheer speed of the whole affair. There exists a very real possibility that a lack of focus on the individuals operating around you, mixed with the speed at which you are personally operating, will combine to bring about serious injury and death. Public transportation is an altogether different animal. Riding in a metal beast, disconnected from the outdoors by safety glass; one feels a certain alienation from their surroundings. It originates from the physical separation between those on the outside and those on the inside, from the fact that what is outside cannot currently be accessed as a result of the restrictions placed upon you by form and function of the bus, from the fact that the form and function of the city necessitates the use of subways and buses in the first place, from the fact that the form and function of the city most often serve efficiency and functionality over the happiness or fulfillment of the individual. The feeling is not dissimilar to that of a prisoner looking out to the free world, seeing those who are in a much different position than they, trapped within a physical and ideological institution that exists more to serve efficiency and functionality than humanity. Of course, the feeling is quite different in terms of scale, but it is still similar in its basic emotive form. Individual motorized vehicle conductors are somewhat better off in this regard, but are still in more or less the same position as driving a vehicle enters you into a contract with the state and the society around you; you are free to go where you please but bound and restricted in every facet of doing so.
Indeed, though not efficient in the least, walking is the most personal way of interacting with the city. Walking best allows you to join the city, the character in our lives most often taken for granted, as opposed to merely navigating it, or making it merely an obstacle to be overcome.
It is through walking that you can best see the city for what it is: an organism in its own right. The city is given life via a symbiotic relationship with humans, whereby humans consume and manipulate energy with which they create the city. In a sense, humans too are much the same, given life by the sum and work of their individual cells, which consume and manipulate energy, gradually creating the human form.

Trip to Edmonton Pt.2, or an exercise in expressing details

We awoke surprisingly refreshed at around 8 AM on Saturday. We were thirsty and hungry, and we decided to go Edmonton’s to a bakery called the Wild Earth Cafe, which lies just south of the river shoreline. Edmonton is divided fairly evenly by the North Saskatchewan River (add history notex).

The bakery is in an older, well-established community. It is a residential area, with pre-60s houses that still emphasize the front porch over the indoor garage. There were tall trees planted along the sidewalks on both sides of the road at equal distance to one another, creating a sort of open-air tunnel through which you can walk or drive. It had a good vibe, as if the people living there were more wise, more travelled (in the various senses of the term), but also more there. The bakery / cafe was on the corner of 89 avenue and 99 street, and was in the same building as Colina’s restaurant (which we went to the next day), a cool-looking bar, and a healthy-looking grocery.

The cafe itself felt quite warm and homey. There were all kinds of interesting looking folk. I can’t think of any specific examples (other than a latex clad bicyclist, who came into the bathroom and didn’t wash his hands after a pee), but I remember a general image with people reading the paper or a book with a coffee, business partners, friends, and couples nattering together about the things they find they can communicate with each other about, and larger groups of three or four people just shooting the shit. I caution though that my mind may be filling in a blank spot in my memory with cultural stereotypes. Regardless, the cafe was very lively. I ordered a muffin and a coffee (black, as always) to start, while Sarah had a sandwich and a latte. We talked about whatever seemed significant at the time, including my Dosha test, which indicates that I am tri-doshic from an Ayurvedic point of view. At some point, we noticed a wasp was climbing up the window by our table. Sarah attempted to capture it using the mug/hand technique without success. I used the mug/paper technique and did eventually catch it, though I think I pissed it off quite well, and may have accidentally tore out it’s stinger too. Ah well, such is life. I released it outside and some older person noted how angry I had made it.

After all that drama, we decided to be decadent and get a creme brule before we left. At this point we knew we were going to take a good walk, though we had no idea how long it would actually end up being. It was my first creme brule, and it was delicious. I also got a cinnamon bun and muffin to go, which Sarah thought was a bit plain of me, stating that “we could have got those things in Grande Prairie”. Nonetheless, the muffin didn’t last long, and was quite good too.

We walked back to the car, which was parked a block away. We decided to bring a (“manly canvas”) bag of supplies, which contained some ultimately useless items such as books, but also some useful items like a cinnamon bun and an extra layer of clothing. With this we commenced our walk. The riverside was the first destination, and we walked along the raised edges of the river, which were a good 25 metres above the river itself. There was a nice paved path, but also a few unofficial paths that we also explored. We crossed the river at the Low Level Bridge, and ascended a great flight of stairs to Edmonton’s downtown sky-rise area. This portion of the walk probably took about 45 minutes according to Google at least.

—

I’ll leave at that exciting cliffhanger. Part three coming at some point in the future.

Trip to Edmonton Pt.1

The weekend before last Sarah and I went to Edmonton. It was a fun and unique trip, and I figured I’d make a post about it. My memory is better than expected (and seemingly improving in general), so I’ll divide the trip into two or three posts.

The Time Between Friday Evening (6 PM) to Saturday Morning (8 AM)

We left around 6PM last Friday, after Sarah had gotten back from work. Our general plan was to see a music show in honour of Leonard Cohen, but were otherwise planning on wingin’ it. We felt cheap (and poor), so we had planned to sleep both nights in the back of her Hyundai Accent hatchback. Not the most luxurious accommodations, but it would save us a good 200$ at least, and hey, I can’t say I’ve slept in a car overnight before.

Before we left, we got some vegetarian pizza at a place called Panago. It seems to be a chain up here, but the quality was very good. We also got a Crossword lottery ticket, which ended up winning us 12$ (7$ net). Not bad. Anyways, we hit the road and travelled Highway 43 while listening to an audio book about a woman who worked to create micro-loan institutions in Africa. Highway 43 was the route that, once developed and paved, allowed for Grande Prairie to explode in population and become more exploitable economically. Not that long ago, only about 100 years ago, Grande Prairie was a vast untapped resource, and people travelled down a brutal government-made “road” from Edson (near Edmonton) to Grande Prairie hoping to find fertile (and, perhaps just as importantly, cheap) lands. From around 1911 until the railroad to Grande Prairie was completed in 1916, many settlers tried (and many failed) to claim a stake in this frontier land. A play I saw last week on the history of Grande Prairie and area (“The Lost Trail: A Grand Old Prairie Opera”) described the trek as the “last great wagon trail in the history of the old West,” and I believe it. Being a good four hour drive from Edmonton at 100ish kilometers an hour, you have to feel somewhat lucky, given that the trek by wagon (or foot) often took at least 2 weeks (if you were damned lucky) to 3 months (if God or whoever had it in for you).

We were treated to a classic prairie sunset, where the extreme flatness of the terrain allows for wondrous, prolonged exhibitions of the various hues that have been gifted to humanity’s specific visible spectrum. We drove through many small frontier towns along the way, all looking more or less the same, as if much of the infrastructure was built more to serve those driving through it than those living in it. We stopped at one of these towns. This one was called Whitecourt. I misspoke and referred to it as Whitecrest a few times, and then (comically?) referred to it to in a few other incorrect ways, one of which was Blackcourt. We fueled up, and Sarah was given bad service at a service station when trying to return our winning ticket. We ate at a decidedly average all-day breakfast joint whose name I can’t remember, which had coffee just barely strong enough to be drinkable. I took over driving from here, and felt rather enlightened as we drove into Edmonton. Things felt clear, though as they tend to be these days, only as clear as it could possibly be at that given point in time and in that given point of my personal development.

We entered Edmonton around 1030 and it was quite dark. I could get no real first impression of the city from this introduction, but I was being a bit arrogant to judge so soon and with so little information anyways. We headed the general direction of downtown, and turned into a neighbourhood that looked suitable to sleep in your car in. We parked under some large trees on a quiet residential street near an elementary school. We took a brief walk to unwind from the drive, and saw quite a few rabbits. They were skittish as they usual are. When we were sufficiently tired, we tried to get comfortable in the back portion of her hatchback. This proved to be quite difficult. We probably should have brought more blankets to pad the floor of the trunk, which was a bit hard and a bit uneven. We woke up several times to try to get more comfortable, and a few times because of police helicopters, which made us wonder (in mostly a facetious way) if there was some escaped convict on the loose nearby. These fears were not alleviated by having police cars drive nearby a few times on our supposedly quiet street. At this time I had completely forgotten too that Edmonton is the murder capital of Canada. Regardless, nothing happened. Around five AM, we didn’t seem to think we were going to get back to sleep, but we switched positions, which actually worked for whatever reason, and we got a good three hours straight sleeping in.

Going West

This post is to officially announce my plans of taking a trip out West this summer. I plan on leaving sometime in early August (1st-5th). I’ll either do it by bus, car, hitchhiking, or a combination of these. I don’t want to set an endpoint of when I’ll be back at this point, as I want to leave destiny up to the Gods, the physical laws of nature that guide the universe, the infinity dice, or whatever else you’d like to call it.

I’d like to see the country along the way. That’s an important part of this trip, something that a bus just wouldn’t provide. Thus, I’m leaning towards hitchhiking or driving. Driving is a decadent (and riskier) idea, but it would allow me to freelance a bit more (which is kind of my style), though hitchhiking would likely be a good adventure too. If I do end up driving, I would likely do Craigslist ride-shares along the way, to help with gas.

I want to see the land, but I’m doing it to see some people as well. I’m planning on stopping in with my old roommate Frances. She lives in Likely, British Columbia, a former gold-mining town nestled beautifully within the heights of the Rocky Mountains. She’s a lovely, free-spirited person who was extremely fun to live with in her time here. She has gone to Likely for the rest of this summer to work, but she will return to Montreal for school in September. Likely looks like a wonderful place, and I’d like to develop a less abstract association with it.

I also plan on seeing Sarah, a friend of Frances’ who I met when she visited Montreal for a week barely a month ago. We developed a strong spiritual connection (that is, between our individual spirits) during her visit, and have maintained it, and perhaps even strengthened it, despite the great physical distance between us. She lives in Grande Prairie, Alberta, a small city characterized by it’s fast growth, strong economy and job market, and it’s isolated position, even by Canadian Prairie standards. Grande Prairie is quite a contrast to Likely, as I expect it to be much less beautiful, both in regards to it’s nature and it’s culture. However, I expect that Sarah’s beauty, of body and soul, will help to offset her current locale’s relative lack thereof.

Given the isolated nature of Grande Prairie, the pay is quite good there. And, given the uni-lingual nature of Grande Prairie, the job opportunities will be much better there, and I may be able to get a job using my degrees. Thus, I may choose to work there for an undetermined amount of time. The moving work I’m doing now has helped free me from my debts, and helped me get into the best physical shape I’ve been in a long time, but it is taking a toll on my body and is far from a long-term solution. Not that I’m necessarily looking for a long-term job at this point, but it would be a (nice) change of pace for me to use my brain on the job, and not just be a mindless cog in a machine that has little use for my creativity and soul. Also, the obvious: I could make some pretty nice cash fairly quickly, and that’s useful in all kinds of ways.

As for what I hope to gain from this trip, I will be happy if all I gain is experience, a lesson (or many) learned, and inspiration. Knowing myself, I should be able to gain all these, regardless of what should happen.

How does this effect us (being aware that the only people reading this blog are Mom, Jim, Thea, and Kyle, and maybe Jeremy)? Well, I’ll be seeing Thea and Kyle, and my Montreal / Ottawa-Gatineau friends much less often for an undetermined amount of time. I’ll be seeing those in Shawville probably about the same as before. I’m going down for a good visit on Friday, so you guys probably won’t notice that much at all, at least in the practical sense.

I wrote this figuring it would be the best way for me to explain myself. Writing allows me more time to reflect on what is a fairly complex situation. My admittedly bare-bones explanation here serves only to introduce the reader to the concept itself. But, it does serve it’s purpose, and further explanation will come with real life conversation. Just know that I feel it to be the best thing for me to do at the moment, based on where I am in my life right now.

Besides, I’m won’t be that far away, really. Just a couple of days driving is all

In response to Dirk Gently,

(The original post I replied to lies below)

Well written. This actually expresses an idea I was trying to formulate quite well. Is it possible that life, instead of being entirely random and ultimately pointless, is actually a fundamental mechanism of the universe itself, serving some function that we cannot yet comprehend? The idea of entropy is certain involved.

All life operates in a similar manner. Off hand, I can think of four main logical similarities in regards to the function of life and how life functions.

First, we consume energy. Plants consume the invisible energy that radiates mostly from the sun. Animals then consume the plants, and other animals consume those animals, and so on. In short, we are sequestering energy away from other energy sources, and this should continue until the external energy sources providing energy to plants disappears.

Secondly, we reproduce. All life aims to recreate itself.

Thirdly, we act in our own self-interest, or sometimes in species interest. A good example of pure species interest is the Praying Mantis, where the male essentially sacrifices himself after sex (or whatever it is Praying Mantis’ do). For humans, you can see it in altruistic acts.

Finally, we evolve. We adapt to our environments. Every animal has some sort of logic, though some are much more mechanistic than others. For instance, insects have a pretty low “ceiling” of logic, since they’re so small anyways. Their function is not to be logical, however, as they serve an extremely important role. What I’m getting at is that each animal uses their logic to better serve themselves and their species, and this logic leads (very gradually) towards new forms of existence. Those who cannot adapt to their environment die off, except in the case of humans, who at this point (in some ways, and some places) have assumed the role of “God.”

However, this is not to say that Human evolution is stagnant. So much of evolution is based upon the tools at ones disposal. Human evolution has been extremely gradual. For so long, our main tools were stone or wood. Then, we began mastering various metals, allowing us a much greater ability to shape our environment. Now, we live in the age of plastic, and other highly effective materials. Our tools and materials allow us to shape our environment even more. We have invented tools, such as the computer, that save us so much of our mental effort, allowing us to take certain things (such as complex calculations) for granted and to focus on greater ideas. We have invented the internet, which allows for much greater connectivity between peoples, and thus much greater knowledge. What I’m getting at is that the highly advanced tools that we are creating are fueling human evolution, even if the traditional forms of evolution (adapt or die) are largely gone. Evolution for humans is much more mental than physical. One example is a recent study showing that the use of computers directly changes the way the brain functions (http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=your-ibrain). This is part of the next step of human evolution. Humans will use their new tools to expand their knowledge even further. I’ll leave the specific way we’ll evolve for another day. Needless to say, their are infinite possibilities.

Now, for what I was getting at when I started this. Given humanity’s technological innovations, and given a presumption that our technology and tools will continue to improve, it is hard to put a limit on how far we can advance. We could eventually get to the point where we absorb the energy of entire stars, or to where we could create our own stars, and so on. Perhaps it is even possible for humanity to save the universe from itself. The two main theories on the fate of the universe are the “big crunch” (where the universe collapses on itself) and the “big freeze” (where the universe expands to the point where energy is overly dispersed). It seems inconceivable now that humanity could do such things, but I would think that to the caveman (and cavewoman) our present reality would be inconceivable.

In short, the function of life seems to consume (or sequester) energy, to reproduce, and to sustain itself or its species. To do this animals must use their logic and adapt to their environment. This inevitably causes evolution. What we see today is the product of millions of years of evolution, and our advanced technology today is symbolic of this. Thus, the very nature of life leads (very gradually) towards the technology we have created. The question is: does this serve some sort of ultimate purpose? Is evolution, of species or of technology, part of some larger scheme, or simply a result of chaos and probability?

—

In reply to:

Entropy is the Second Law of Thermodynamics that explains how energy seeks to achieve balance by dispersing. For example, a cup of tea will get colder until it reaches room temperature. The energy transfer stops once there is balance.

Another Example. Oil is an accumulation of millions of years of energy captured by living organisms. Burning oil releases energy, it does not create it. It makes heat that is dispersed and becomes balanced and inert.

Everything in this world is energy that is momentarily frozen in physical form. If all life came into existence because of an energy source, we are essentially feeding on the downward stream of cosmic energy and ultimately slowing down the speed at which energy balances and becomes inert.

Since energy is on a one-way street headed towards balance and inertia, I would like to present the living world as a filter, as a way of slowing down and capturing energy. If energy was represented as a waterfall, life would be millions of little turbines collecting the potential energy. Evolution is the diversification of these metaphorical turbines to maximize energy absorption. Entropy seeks balance and inertia. Life is its opposite, producing chaos and multiplicity.

My goal is to express this understanding by appreciating the infinitely adaptive qualities of Nature as it seeks to seize as much energy as possible.

Life is the universal balancing act. The shadow of energy. The ghost of Entropy.

Dirk Gently

When asked what’s wrong with Harper’s prison policy, I wrote this

Punishing people harsher and building more prisons has been shown to be pretty ineffective policy. Sure you take those people off the streets, but you also take them away from their families. This ends up fucking up the family pretty bad, making it far more likely for future members of that family to go down a life of crime. Also, prisons actually have the effect of turning some prisoners who before might not have been truly tied to a life of crime into true criminals, since they spend all their time with more hardcore prisoners and learn their techniques. Basically social networking with the wrong people. Plus, once you get out of prison, it’s way harder to find a job, so it’s more likely that you’d have to go back to crime. Also, keeping prisoners is pretty wasteful: it’s fucking expensive to keep prisoners, and while they’re in prison they become an expense to the state when they could be in the workforce contributing to economic growth and development of the state.

A lot of crime is a result of poverty or poor socioeconomic status. Not having enough resources/money to sustain yourself and your family will make you more likely to try crime. Crime can pay pretty well after all. So a good policy would aim to greatly reduce the poverty of the poorest people and in general. Probably the easiest way to do this is to raise the minimum wage by a fair margin, but there’s a lot of things you could specifically do to target specific poor individuals, ie: the single mother/father trying to raise two kids working at Walmart.

A lot of crime does pay extremely well. Another good policy is to make it so that it doesn’t pay that well anymore. For example, legalizing weed would essentially cut the drug black market (and all the shitty stuff that goes on behind the scenes) by a large amount. It would also make us a TON of money, which we could use to pay for the improved social policies.

Also, some people turn to crime because it is the best or only option surrounding them. The best example of this is probably the Ghettos / Projects in the United States. The people are just so poor and the only escape really is to join gangs. It’s also simply their reality: gangs are a way of life, a way of sustaining yourself and your family. A good policy would make education free or essentially free for the very poor. Canada is way better at this than the United States, but I personally think anyone who wants to be educated should have the ability to be educated. If the state is to do anything at all, I think it should encourage as many people as possible to develop their skills, whatever they may be. So, I think that education should be free to close to free for the everyone outside of the top income brackets.

The beginning

This is my first post of who knows how many. I’ve done this before, you know. Started a blog, thinking I would post at least semi-frequently. Hasn’t quite gone as I might have hoped at the time. Nevertheless, here I am, starting fresh with an eye towards the future.

I’m feeling uninspired, intellectually stagnant if you will. I hope that this may encourage me to write down those small ideas, whatever they may be, that pop into my head from time to time. Those ideas I feel I should keep track of. Of course, I won’t mention all my ideas, as I’d like to keep some of them for myself, at least until I can find the inspiration to complete it myself.

I hope that starting small will lead me to something larger. I’ve found this to be true of physical labor: once you start working (after a period of not having any work at all), you tend to have more productive energy in general. So, I expect that once I begin writing, I will be more likely to write. Of course, I must write, so as to fully explore my own potentiality.

I feel that this is the time to start. I’m young (24), and I feel that my knowledge is expanding to a point where I might have something interesting to contribute to the pool of human knowledge and culture. I have greater confidence in myself, due both to growing self-understanding and self-learning, but also in accepting what makes me specifically unique. In the past I yearned to be somewhat more normal. Now, I feel that I have achieved a happy median between acceptable outward appearance within the social realm and my own individuality. Also, my financial situation is stabilizing, being in a situation where my expenses are low and my income is adequate, where I work enough to stay active but not too much so as to consume all my time. For me at least, to be creative I must not have too little or too much time on my hands. Not having to stress about money is also huge, as it was not long ago a major distraction from forming solid, coherent thoughts.

So this is beginning. Of what, who knows. It could be of my success (in whatever it is I will be successful in). It could be my failure. Or it could be neither, an action that is the beginning of nothing, a mere result of a general mindset, a desire, a series of events, from which there will be no direct consequence. Only time will tell.